Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
