either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
