is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
