On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
