Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I am spending my child support on dildos
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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