Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
