I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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