It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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