Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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