eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
