shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
