Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
