Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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