It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
