Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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