I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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