Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
