lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
