Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
