belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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