kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
