He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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