lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm passing your future prison.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Randomize
