Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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