His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
