so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
