I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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