One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sobbing to NWA
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
