Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My bed smells like the plague
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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