mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I intend to get homeless drunk
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
