my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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