I just saw a hot homeless man
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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