My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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