Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I need water and some morals
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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