I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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