I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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