Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
