i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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