we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Send help, water and tortillas.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Who died my cat blue again?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
