also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
birth control should be required to get into college
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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