I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We are two peas in an std pod
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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