Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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