i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
