so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
