I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
