Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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