Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
