Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
