Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
