Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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