out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This is the high leading the old right now
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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