I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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