first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
