if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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