Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
