I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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