I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
