I'm drive I can fine osifer
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize