every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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