I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
