he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
