Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
