I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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