Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
