You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
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