Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
