Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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