I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
