You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
