My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
