But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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