Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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