giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize