Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
