so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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