I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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