Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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