i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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