every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
