Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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