let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
