Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
